Benefits of Boredom

There is great value in time spent alone.

As a boy just about to enter the turbulent teen years, we lived on a small section of wooded land in Northeast Texas. Our 3.5 acres abutted land that stretched uninterrupted for several miles. In my innocence I would wander those woods for what seemed like miles (but was probably more like 300 yards of a spiraled course). It was a time of fascination with the wonders of God's creation.

I treasure those days. They were the days of innocence and discovery. I spent time learning, thinking, playing, and all the while developing. Sometimes it included my two brothers. But it was always time to myself, to do what I wanted, and to enjoy my childhood.

Do you have memories that you treasure like this?

If you have children, are you allowing them to have similar experiences?

Today's world is busy and demanding. Children get caught up in activities and responsibilities in school, sports, and even electronic media like Facebook and blogs. They are so busy working on so many things! This work is important. They need to learn how to play with others. They need to learn the value of teams, hard work, and sacrifice. But they also need something more.

They need to be alone.

You might think your child spends too much time alone already. Maybe he is always playing video games or she is always texting. They seem like they are alone, but even playing computer games is not the alone time I am talking about. Those games set the agenda. They have goals to accomplish, tasks to perform. Their minds are led by the people who manufactured the games. No, that is not alone time.

Alone time is time to yourself with no distractions. Your boy or girl might have toys, but during this time children should have nothing that leads their minds. This alone time forces them to think. It forces them to find something to fill the time. It forces their personalities to develop and grow. It shows them what they like and dislike. It helps them make decisions about priorities. And it gives them that very important time to daydream.

Even little children need this time. One of the best things you can do is to enforce a "quiet time" in your home. Sometime during each day require your children to unplug from the Internet and TV, go to a place where they are alone, and grow. Set a regular time and stick to it.

Boredom is not a villain. If you provide opportunity in a safe environment, boredom can be a fantastic motivator and teacher.

Regularly allow your child to be bored in a safe and structured environment. And let them figure out how to pass the time. When they are old and reflect on life, they will be happy for those wonderful times of innocence and discovery.

Dig It Deep

A Cistern holds as much as its size allows

God wants your marriage to be joyful. He wants it to succeed. When Jesus came He faced a society much like our own in how they treated marriage. Jesus took the time to correct the common thinking of the day and reinstate God’s original design. Read Matthew 19:1-9 and pay attention to the simplicity of what God intended.

Since God wants you to have a successful marriage (if you have chosen or will choose to marry), we can expect the Bible to say something about how to have a happy marriage. That’s exactly what we see. In fact, there is so much that we will just look at one idea.

Proverbs 5:15-19 is a great passage to look at for marital advice. The passage begins with “Drink water from your own cistern” and ends with, “always be enraptured with her love.” Love in a marriage is like an underground reservoir made to hold rainwater. It holds as much as its size allows, so build a large one by building a solid marriage.

The symbolism of the passage represents the happiness that a spouse can bring. The advice is to cherish what you have. If we will appreciate our spouses and the love of our spouses, then we will help bring happiness to the home. For a reference, look at a little more detail in a post about husbands appreciating our wives.

Like all other parts of love, the decision to treasure your spouse is first a decision. You must make the decision to find the good in your spouse and treasure it. It’s not going to cure every problem you have, but it will serve as a great foundation upon which to build.

Chances are great that you were not forced into marriage. If you have difficulties, remember the things that attracted you to begin with. Choose to become enraptured again. Find the things about your spouse that are good and lovely. Your marriage is the cistern that can hold vast quantities of love for you. Drink from it. 

Don't Miss Your Biggest Step in Spiritual Growth

Thte Bible is Powerful for Growth

There is nothing like reading the Bible.

I met with a couple of preachers today and we swapped stories of Bible reading "adventures" we have had. Most people would not consider Bible reading to be adventuresome but in a time when so many people have never read the Bible, we tend to overlook the power that is found there.

One of the men told of an elderly gentleman who did not like anyone talking to him about God or church. He was bitter and difficult to get along with. But the preacher asked if he would mind just reading a few passages. The gentleman said that he could not see well enough to read, so the preacher offered to read to him. The idea was that he would simply read without preaching or giving opinions about it. The man agreed. The preacher read to him 5-6 days a week for several weeks. They read through John together. Then they began to read Acts.

When Acts 2 was read the preacher asked, "What do you think of that chapter and all that went on there?" After a small discussion the elderly gentleman was baptized. All of this came not from a sermon or a series of lectures but from simply reading the Word of God.

I heard other stories with similar endings.

God said it, so it should not surprise us. "So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it" (Isaiah 55:11).

It turns out that God knows something about human nature. And why shouldn't He? It seems that the way the Bible was written, the words used, the repetition, the illustrations, all of it works together as a powerful influence on a person.

I've seen this in my own life. The more I read and memorize the more I hunger for the Word. I've seen it in the lives of others as well.

We have an event once a month called "Biblepalooza" in which we get together with no other goal than to read the Bible. There are no opinions offered. There are no lectures or comments. The only things that come from our mouths is the chapter number we are reading and God's Word. We don't just read a few chapters and call it a day. We read for HOURS at a time.

Some people think we are crazy. Who reads the Bible for 7 hours straight? We do it regularly. And those who participate LOVE it. Those times together are sobering. The readings produce a reverence for God's Word and leaves us wanting more.

I want to encourage you to read the Bible. This is your biggest step in spiritual growth.

Don't just read a chapter or two. READ. Read as if life is found in those pages - because it is. Read long and read regularly. You will be glad you did.

Don't Be An Idiot Who Got Lucky

Know Why you believe or do things

I had a problem: I needed to walk across a busy road and was not sure how to do it safely.

I remembered seeing a chicken cross a road once and noticed it had no problem. I noticed that when it walked across it simply darted quickly without looking both ways. It seemed confident and I decided that "confidence" was the key to its safety. So I decided to act on my new realization.

I did not look both ways. I darted across quickly and confidently without looking at any of the traffic headed my way. I heard a few car horns and squealing tires, but I made it safely across!

What would you say to me if I told you that I plan to do that every time I need to cross a busy road? What would you say if I taught your children a class on pedestrian safety?

My theory was obviously not correct. I was an idiot who got lucky. (Or I would have been if that were a true story instead of an illustration.) I was wrong because my reasoning was not sound. The fact that I happened to be safe did not prove my theory sound.

In a way, I came to the "right" conclusion: That I would be safe to cross. However, the reason I came to that conclusion was completely and dangerously WRONG. I was not right. I was an idiot who got lucky.

You may have grown up in a family and church that gave you all the right answers to all the questions you had. It is good to have the answers. However, unless you have learned how to find those answers properly, your knowledge is useless for anything more than those immediate answers. In fact, your "right answers" may hide a logic that is flawed and dangerous to yourself and others.

Pay attention to the ideas people have. Pay more attention to the reasons they hold those ideas. Pay even more attention to why you hold your own ideas. Don't be correct because you are an idiot who got lucky. Be correct because your reasoning is sound.

Providing for Your Own Destruction

Are you engaging in self-destructive behavior?

Alcoholics and drug addicts have stashes. That is a rule. They have “one last bottle” in many hiding places throughout their living quarters. Most of them have one or two caches that are expendable. They are not stupid. They know that sooner or later they are going to meet an end with their loved-ones. They know that family will eventually demand that they clean up their lives. These addicts will then cry, weep, and make all kinds of confessions. They are very convincing. They will even admit hiding stashes. They will swear to “turn over a new leaf”. They will even show their loved-ones the caches and pour out the offending substances. Those caches are the expendable ones. The “good stuff” is hidden much better. But their new-found decision to change and the pouring out of the expendable caches keep you from looking too closely for any more.

Why do they have caches? It’s usually because they are afraid of giving them up. They are afraid of living life without their drug of choice. So they keep it “just in case”. They make provision for their addiction.

Some people will go to great expense to hide their sins. They will often go to great expense to nurture their sins too. For example, a child molester will spend days, weeks, sometimes years “grooming” potential victims.

But what about people who are not addicted to drugs? What about people who are not pedophiles? What about “ordinary” people living ordinary lives? Do you ever do similar things?

Do you “conveniently” show up at parties where drinking takes place? Maybe you go with the determination not to drink. But do you find that somewhere deep inside a part of you hopes that the temptation would overpower you? Do you secretly hope that you would get caught up in the moment so that you “just can’t help” yourself? This situation will end badly. You are providing opportunity for your own fall.

How about going on a date and sitting in a parked car or in some other place where temptations are bound to occur? You may want to be good, but you put yourself in a position where it is very difficult to be good. Are you secretly hoping to get caught up in the moment? If not, then why put yourself in that situation? You are merely providing for the opportunity to sin.

How about making vague promises? Do you tell someone you will do something but couch it in language that allows you an “out” later if you change your mind? Do you place hidden loopholes in your words? This is providing yourself a way to escape your responsibilities and still to salve your conscience. You are providing for the fleshly mind.

What about living under the false idea that your explosive temper is “just the way you are”? Or what about making excuses for your children by blaming the “teen year dramas” when they do something wrong? Or what about finding things to do at work so you don’t have to attend worship? You know the “work” excuse will keep people off your back, but was it legitimate? Or did you invent reasons to stay there? You are providing opportunity for your own desctruction.

These are a small fraction of the list of ways we provide for the fleshly mind. The Bible clearly condemns it, too. “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts” (Romans 13:14).

Busy, But Missing What is Most Important

Martha was busy missing what was most important

Mary and Martha were followers of Jesus. They hosted the Lord one day and as Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, Martha busied herself with serving her guests. (Find this in Luke 10:38-42.)

Martha soon became irritated with Mary because she was ignoring her responsibilities to her guests. She complained to Jesus and hinted that Jesus should rebuke her sister, Mary, and send her off to serve her guests. But Jesus saw it another way.

Jesus said that Mary actually chose wisely. Martha was the one with the problem. It is not wrong to serve guests, but some better activity could have been chosen. She had Jesus in her house but instead of sitting to learn from Him, she busied herself with many worries and troubles.

Martha was still in the vicinity of Jesus. She was walking all around and serving diligently. But she missed the most important thing. She failed to realize why she was there in the first place.

Men, when you serve in worship, remember not to get caught up in the serving to the exclusion of the purpose. I fight this as a preacher. Most of the activities we do in worship are completed before I speak. It is a great temptation to be like Martha and fret or worry over what I'm about to say. I find myself reviewing notes instead of thinking about the song I just sang. 

It is much worse when people are nervous and afraid of being up in public. For you men who lead prayer or serve at the Lord's Table and are nervous, try to put such fears from your mind and remember why you are there serving in the first place.

The same certainly applies to you ladies too, in different contexts.

There are often things that go on in church buildings surrounding the worship of God - things that tend to take away from our worship. These things could be something simple like an upcoming meal that needs to be heated. Instead of fretting and worrying and leaving early, remember why you are there in the first place. If people have to wait five more minutes for a meal so that you can worship God and get all you can out of the short time in the assembly, then they can just wait five more minutes!

Whatever it is that takes our minds off God needs to be set aside when we come to worship Him. Don't be Martha. It may make you feel more spiritual to be active and fretting over things, but it does nothing for your relationship with God.

Mary chose the good part. What will you choose?

Preaching is About "You"

Preaching is About the Audience

Preaching that is not personal is also not powerful. If I don't speak out against things that affect the people in my audience then I may as well sit down and say nothing at all. Most preachers never get this. (That was the advice [in a nutshell] I got from a wise man Sunday after evening worship.) 

He told me, "Stop speaking to next week's audience, or to yourself, or to some audience in your own mind. Speak to the people who are there. Deal with THEIR sins, THEIR problems, and THEIR issues. And tell them their problems by making it personal and using the word "You".

It stung a bit because I like to think that I already do that. But his simple question made me realize he was right: "How many times do you use the word 'You' in a sermon?" I honestly tried to avoid using it so that I would be less offensive (not that anyone is promoting deliberate offense). He called me on it and said that was my motive just like everyone else's who preaches. That motive is wrong and a disservice to the church and to my work.

Well, preachers, you need to use that word and give what is needed. Do not be contentious, but contend with the sins directly instead of indirectly.