Understanding and Help for Managing Distress and Despair

First there were bombs exploding in Boston. Then there was the horrifyingly powerful explosion in the little Texas town, West. These are stacked upon other troubling times in our country. It's enough to make you want to roll over and go back to sleep in the mornings. But we know life doesn't stop even if our worlds seem to.

We all suffer tragedies in life. Sometimes the tragedies affect large numbers. At these times we share the pain. And sometimes the tragedies are very personal. 

I've felt the emptiness and the numbness of grief as much as the next person. How many times have we sat in front of our televisions or computers with a look of shocked disbelief? Our eyes have been glued to video screen watching endless reports--knowing that there is nothing new but hoping to hear some new fact. We just want to hear something that will help us understand why it all happened.

Sometimes the answers are just not enough. How can we understand senselessness and depravity? And yet we long for something to make sense.

I know what these questions can do and what seeds these tragic events can plant. Each one of us faces danger when difficult times come. The danger lies beyond the immediate.

Distress can cause feelings of isolation

Feelings do not always represent facts. They are simple expressions of beliefs we hold. Our hearts do not decipher the information or judge it correct or incorrect. It acts as if the information is always right. These feelings also emphasize and expand those beliefs, adding even more ideas. Consider some seeds distress can plant in our hearts.

Distress can make us feel isolated from God.

"How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide your face from me?" (Psalm 13:1).

It is perfectly natural for us to feel isolated in challenging times. After all, there is no way we can see God or hear His voice echoing in the clouds. Sometimes this causes us to doubt Him. It may cause us to question His nature or even His existence.

Difficult times may also cause us to question ourselves. "Am I a bad person?" "Am I being punished for something?"Knowing our nature, it is easy for us to assume the worst about ourselves as an explanation for why things happen. I can't remember how many times I felt like this in my life. My prayers felt like they did not make it past the ceiling. I felt completely alone and completely at fault - empty and wondering if I could ever make it through this life and into the next one.

Distress can make us feel isolated from others.

"How long will I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?" (Psalm 13:2a)

When we face difficult times, we get tunnel vision. We assume no one can understand us. Our miseries are so intense, so painful, we forget that others also have suffered. We also tend to think no one cares.

Perhaps that last thought is not meant to be an insult to others but more of an insult to ourselves. There have been many times in my life when I felt like I was not worthy of someone caring about me. If I am such a miserable person, why would anyone care?

Isolation feeds upon itself. These dark thoughts can be amplified by intense situations of grief and distress. At the end of this vicious cycle of self doubt and isolation is nothing but darkness and despair. If you have reached such low points, you are not alone, but you certainly feel like you are.

Distress can cause feelings of hopelessness

"How long will my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; enlighten my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; lest my enemy say, 'I have prevailed against him'; lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved" (Psalm 13:2b-4).

 Distress amplifies the dark thoughts that it helps foster. In times of trouble seeds of doubt and grief are often given permission to grow. The end result can destroy a life. Before that destruction, however, is a sense of hopelessness.

How many people have faced feelings of desperation? Have we all looked at ourselves and truly felt like there was no hope?

I have faced the deep feelings of hopelessness and despair. And then I realized some things.

I realized that feelings do not define me.

I realized that there are some things far more important than whether or not I "matter".

I realized that there is One who created me and deserves my service no matter what I feel or think of myself.

I realized that God's goodness and purity DESERVE my dedication and my life.

And these realizations saved my life.

I was not intelligent enough to discern these things myself. I am thankful that the Word of God taught me these vital lessons. And I am thankful that I paid attention and chose to believe them.

There is ALWAYS hope with God!

"But I have trusted in Your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me" (Psalm 13:5-6).

Feelings are based on ideas. Not all of our ideas are correct, but our feelings do not discern them. The way to change the way we feel is to look at what we believe. Do you have a wrong view of yourself? Do you see your situation in the wrong light?

No one is wise enough to determine what the right information is without God's input. Jeremiah rightly said, "Oh, Lord, I know the way of man is not in himself. It is not in man who walks to direct his own steps" (Jeremiah 10:23).

We may look at what others say and think it works. We might even figure some things out over time. But the best way to know the proper view of self and situation is to go to the Bible. Let God tell you what to believe. Let those thoughts be the basis for your emotions and your life.

Don't allow the seeds of distress and bitterness to take root in your heart. Don't follow anyone but the Lord. Jesus said, "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly" (John 10:10). He will provide you LIFE.

Helpful Hints

Is distress weighing you down? Do you need some help getting through the murky times? Maybe you just need a light to guide your way. Here are some practical things you can do TODAY to make a difference. 

• Reach out. You are not alone even if you feel like you are. Make some new friends. 
• Reach up. Maybe it sounds cliche, but God has the answers you need.
• Ask yourself why you feel the way you do. What is the underlying idea? This may take a while to find, but it will be good when you do!
• Start reading the Bible. You probably have at least 3 of them. Dust it off and put it in your brain and heart.
• Start reading the Bible for what it says, not what you want it to say.
• Find people who believe in the Bible. I strongly suggest finding a Church of Christ in your area. And now that you mention it, here is where I preach. We would love to see you if you live near us!

Never Fear

F. D. R.

In 1933 President Franklin D. Roosevelt immortalized the saying, “The only thing we have to fear is Fear itself.” Spoken in the context of the Great Depression and the challenges the world faced, this was a perfect statement to rally a nation. It emphasized a key principle for life: We must live by faith, not fear.

Roosevelt’s words ring true because they came from the teachings of God. The Bible is full of men and women who lived in faith. They overcame their fears. They triumphed in life because they trusted in God amidst uncertain futures. Hebrews 11 catalogues many such people. Their behavior should encourage us to reject fear and embrace faith.

Christians should never fear the past. 

Who can make an accusation against a faithful Christian? Certainly we all have things in our pasts that trouble us. Most humans live long enough to regret their pasts to some degree. The good news is that our pasts do not have to count against us in the Judgment. What magnificence! If that thought alone does not cause rejoicing then we need to check to see if our hearts are working!

Christians should never fear the future. 

“For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5b-6). The worst anyone can do to us is to kill our bodies. They cannot touch our souls!

Christians should never fear the present. 

There are plenty of things to worry about in this life. There are plenty of fears to overcome, but overcome we must! We must make decisions based on the correct outlook--our very lives depend upon the choices we make today! Do not allow yourself to make decisions based on fear. Trust in God. Live your life in faith that is developed and maintained through the Bible and you cannot lose. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

photo courtesy of dctourism under noncommercial license: http://www.flickr.com/photos/wctc/81526409/sizes/z/in/photostream/

7 Benefits of Memory Work

There are many benefits of regular memorization.

I want to encourage you to begin or renew a focus on memorization. It may be difficult for you to do. (It is difficult for me too.) Some people think it is impossible for them to do it. But most of us are wrong about that. We can do it. And there are good reasons to do it. Consider a few of these few good reasons.

1. It improves your overall mental ability. A sharp brain is one that is used. It is like a muscle, and the rule for muscles is “Use it or lose it.” Memorization will help you even in the latter years of life.
2. It gives you clarity. When you memorize passages you see them with much more clarity. You notice things in the verse you never saw before.
3. It gives you perspective. When you memorize passages from different contexts and places you begin to notice connections you missed previously. It could be that you notice certain words used in different ways. It might be a particular phrase you notice, or even the style of the writers that you notice. You will be amazed at the subtle yet powerfully moving associations you will make.
4. You will grow in your awe of God’s Word. You will see the complete masterfulness of the holy text. It will leave a lasting impression upon you and draw you closer to God as a result.
5. It “cleans your mind”. You will be putting purity into your mind. As a result you will flush out bad thoughts and ideas and find that you are thinking about spiritual things much more often as you repeat your memory work throughout the day.
6. You will find connections between the Word and the world around you. You will see the world more clearly from God’s perspective. Applications of the text will leap at you from different contexts of life. For example, you will be in a situation and a verse will  come to mind and you will notice that the Word of God has something to say about that situation.
7. You will be more prepared to answer questions from others. There is nothing wrong with telling people you do not know the answer to a question. We all do that from time to time because no one knows everything. But when you can not only have an answer but quote a verse to show that answer, you will certainly make a powerful impact on the one asking the question.

I hope these reasons convince you to start memory work! Even if you memorize one verse a week, you are better off if you do. For more tips and encouragement in memorization, visit our group on Facebook called “Bible Memorization”.

Do you have any tips and tricks for memory work? Can you think of other benefits of memory work? Let's discuss them below!

Times When Prayer Has No Power

Prayer is pouring our hearts out to God. For Christians, it is deeply personal and powerful. But there are times when prayer has no power at all. I'm not talking about the fact that sometimes we must wait for an answer to prayers. I mean, there are times when prayer is futile and worthless. 

It might come as a surprise to some that a Christian would say prayer can have no power, but consider these 6 times when that is a true statement.

·      There is no power in prayer when we do not pray regularly.  In Luke 18:1 Jesus told a parable to show that men “always ought to pray and not lose heart.”

·      There is no power in prayer when we put our faith in prayer but not in God.  Mumbling words to a “higher power” is not effective prayer.  “Thinking good thoughts” is not effective. Prayer itself is not effective.  It is only effective when the audience is the Almighty!

·      There is no power in prayer when we pray for our own lusts.  James 4:3 says, “You ask and do not receive because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.”

·      There is no power in prayer when we pray for what is not God’s will. 1 John 5:14 states, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” For example, God wants to heal and forgive us, but He will NOT forgive simply because we pray to Him.

·      There is no power in prayer when we abuse our relationships with others.  1 Peter 3:7 warns, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

·      There is no power in prayer when we refuse to repent of our sins.  Three times Jeremiah was told, “Do not pray for these people” (Jeremiah 7:16; 11:14; 14:11).  This was because of the sins of the people.  They simply refused to change!  When Joshua was defeated at Ai, he went into the tabernacle and fell on his face before the Ark of the Lord asking why they failed.  God’s response was not to have him pray more.  He said, “Get up! Why do you lie thus on your face?  Israel has sinned....Therefore the children of Israel could not stand before their enemies....Get up, sanctify the people...” (Joshua 7:10-13).  Sin separates us from God so that He will not hear us (Isaiah 59:1-2).

How's your prayer life? Need some help? I'd love to hear from you.

Can you add to the list of times when prayer has no power? Let's talk about it below.

Lamentations: Light in Dark Times

Even in destruction hope can be found.

Written by Jeremiah, the Book of Lamentations is a haunting series of funeral dirges mourning the destruction of Jerusalem.  It refers to the destruction that came from the Babylonians beginning in 606 B.C.  It is a touching display of the miserable conditions the people of Judah brought upon themselves by incessant disobedience to God.

One of the amazing characteristics of the book is its arrangement. It contains five poems which correspond to the various chapters. Each poem contains 22 verses, except the third chapter. The third poem (chapter) contains 66 verses. 

These poems are 22 verses long because they are arranged according to the Hebrew alphabet, with three cycles of the alphabet being used in the third poem. Each verse (with a few exceptions and except chapter 5) begins with the corresponding letter of the alphabet so that in one poem the entire alphabet is used. This arrangement is not unique, but it is rare. If we could explain it in our own way, we might say that these are poems showing the terribleness of the destruction from A to Z.

In times of sorrow look to God, the source of comfort. 

Two other unique characteristics of the book are that the poems work in a crescendo/decrescendo fashion and they work as parenthetical statements. In the first two poems there is crescendo with the third poem the climax, and then the last two poems serve as decrescendo. The design is such that the first and fifth poems are closely related, and the second and fourth poems are also closely related. 

The third poem contains its own similar fashion. The first part and the third relate to one another. All of the poems and parts of the centerpiece revolve around the second (and middle) section of the third poem. That middle section is the climax of a beautiful message couched in a sea of sorrow and despair. At the height of the misery of the poems comes a great paradox that shines with brilliance above all the turmoil listed in the surrounding verses. Note how the central part begins, the climax of the entire masterpiece:

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in Him’” (Lamentations 3:22-24).

It might be difficult for some to realize the import of such words. The author notes the distress and misery and rises up above those circumstances. He pulls himself up like climbing a hill of trash and mud in a dump on a sad, rainy day. He pulls himself up above it all and releases a light for all to see: Hope for the distressed and a great proclamation of love for his God. Then, again, he retreats into the misery of the situation, having changed the outcome through realization of the central point: God is still in control. He is faithful. He will help us overcome. 

Even in sorrow we can find God's goodness.

Chapters one and five emphasize the destruction that came upon the city of Jerusalem and the city is personified as a woman crying out in pain and agony over her abuse. In the second and fourth poems the city is crying out but the emphasis is on the anger of the Lord who caused the destruction. The third poem relates to the personal distress Jeremiah felt while watching the destruction come against his own people. The nature of the poems also shows a natural progression of the outward, less personal events to the emotional, personal events, and then back out again. The closer to the middle of the book one travels, the more personal the message becomes. 

These are general observations and impressions the book made on me. I hope that I have encouraged you to read and contemplate the message of this and other books of the Bible. I’d love to hear your thoughts about this or other books of the Bible!

Winning Like A Baby

Have you ever seen anything uglier than a newborn baby?

Tap into the power babies have over us.

Think about it. 

• Most of them are chubby. 

• They have no teeth at all. 

• They can’t open their mouths without some kind of liquid coming out. 

• They are short and mostly bald--even the girls! 

• And they lie around crying all the time.

Yet we love them to death!

I’d say that is pretty awesome power. They have us wrapped around their stubby little fingers. 

What wouldn’t we do for them? 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to win hearts like they do? 

I’m not saying we should act like a baby, just win like one. Consider a few ways we can imitate babies and win hearts around us.

1. Be pure. 

Isn’t that the heart of what Jesus meant when He said, “Unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3)?

We need purity of heart. Who doubts the intentions of babies? No one thinks a baby is secretly plotting to hurt others. We do not fear our words around them. They are harmless.

We’ve met people that we cannot trust. We guard our words and actions lest they have something to use against us. It is not a fun situation. Let us be extraordinary people that can be trusted never to intentionally do harm to others around us.

2. Be facial.

Have you noticed the way a baby’s face lights up when he recognizes someone? His face shines with excitement and we get a thrill knowing the child remembers and loves us. 

There are not many passages in the Bible that mention smiles, but there are plenty of passages that tell us to be pleasant to others. Proverbs 16:24 tells us that “Pleasant words are like honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” So let us be pleasant and loving. Smile. Meet new people. Act like you are interested in others. Show it with your face.

3. Be vulnerable.

Babies are the most vulnerable people in the world. Not only are they incapable of self-defense. They cannot even recognize dangers around them.

Here we need balance. Vulnerability seems weak but is a key to developing relationships. Be open to others. Show love. Accept love. Do not live afraid of being hurt. Certainly you will be hurt at times, but love anyway. 

Consider how Jesus treated Judas, and follow His lead. Consider the Messianic prophecy of Psalm 41:9. “Even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has turned up his heel against me.” This shows us that Jesus trusted Judas even though He knew Judas would betray Him. On that last evening, Jesus even washed Judas' feet.

Be wise, and be open.

Win Like A Baby

Can you think of other characteristics that help us connect with others? Let's discuss them in the comments section below!

Bringing Life To The Living

Jesus came to a planet of living beings and brought life.

Since His coming, we have seen attacks against Christianity and the Bible. These will continue because people in darkness hate the light. But the light is life. Jesus shows us what life is about. He shows us how to live!

It should be obvious that the Bible does not reveal the complete knowledge of God within its pages. How could any book contain such knowledge? However, He has expressed to us what we need to know.

In 1 Corinthians 2:7-16, Paul wrote about the role of the Holy Spirit in giving us the Word of God. The Spirit revealed the wisdom of God that had previously been hidden. This was the plan of God for the abundant life Jesus promised in John 10:10.

The Bible reveals what was once hidden. God is able to communicate so that we can understand Him. With effort, we can understand the Bible. It was written for us to understand life and to access the promises and the power of God for our salvation.

Of course, there are misinterpretations and alleged contradictions, but these are unnecessary. Thorough learning and continued study can reveal truth. And as for contradictions, they have never been successfully proven. Since the words were first recorded people have attempted to set them aside by various means. There have been hundreds of accusations made against the Bible. All of them have been overturned by study and analysis of the Bible.

Second Timothy 3:16-17 teaches us that all Scripture is given by the inspiration of God. The word "inspiration" literally means "God-breathed [out]". It is the expression of God Himself. Thus it is profitable for "doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness."

For us, the above means that the Bible is complete. Second Peter 1:3 tells us that we have been given "all things that pertain to life and godliness" through the knowledge Jesus has. This knowledge was passed to us through the Holy Spirit to the Apostles (1 Corinthians 2). We have no need to look anywhere else to find how to live a life pleasing to and blessed by God.

The Bible is the means to our salvation. Jude 3 teaches us the importance of the faith--that it is worth fighting for (figuratively). Paul wrote in Romans 10:17 that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God. So what the Bible provides is not just "good advice" to consider. It provides the very information we need to be saved from destruction and punishment from God. It tells us how to find the blessings of God's promises.

There is no replacement for the Bible. It is the expression of God. It is authoritative, complete, and unblemished.

With our noses in the book, our feet on the path, and our eyes watching carefully for dangers, we will be granted the promise of Jesus: "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly" (John 10:10).

Jesus came to a planet of living people and brought life.